Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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