When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
