Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize