I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Vodka?
Forever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize