i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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