I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
