I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
