I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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