This girl is more easily done than said...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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