then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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