I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
