Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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