I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize