I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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