Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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