Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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