but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize