you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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