im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
