Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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