I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dick very happy bro
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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