You really coming over, don't trick.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
