dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
