I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
