can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
