he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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