I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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