I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
