Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
