Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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