I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
