im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize