we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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