Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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