Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
