Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
