she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
