i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
