I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
