i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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