He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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