Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
