tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
