Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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