Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
