We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
