I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
