All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
