someone get that fucking seahorse.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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