He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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