so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize