JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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