i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
