carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
