We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to make out with him forever
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
