Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
