Say something about gay babies.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
