I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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