If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
