I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Randomize
