id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
