Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ladies don't puke and tell
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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